Early in the learning curve as their executive partners are climbing the corporate ladder, corporate spouses often comment and inquire, “We socialize often with people within our company at events. I really do like these other spouses since we connect on many levels. But I want to know, are we really friends? Where do I draw the line?”
What a great question! And if you’re asking the question, you’re already a step ahead by understanding that there should be a line.
It’s true, as spouses in the corporate world, we do connect on many of same subject levels . . . married, trailing, children, often alone, feeling solo, relocated, little time with our spouses, and the list continues. Pretty soon, spouses are commiserating their lists of complaints at parties, over coffee, and the “allied or angry” balance can weigh heavy on the angry side finding blame all around them. With “the list,” they view themselves as bonded friends who have common ground. But as I view them, they’re bonded by complaints.
However, corporate spouses can learn the skills it takes to turn this scenario around 180 degrees to be a positive experience. Through an ExecuMate seminar or one-on-one mentoring, the informed executive spouse develops the awareness to know conversations such as these can quickly turn negative, and use their learned skills to maneuver those conversations in a positive direction. Through sharing ideas, maintaining a positive mental attitude, practiced skills of adaptability, finding your own passions to enrich your life, and sharing the ‘power of two’ experience through seminars or mentoring, corporate spouses can be transformed into a supportive group, helping each other through the journey. They now connect as problem-solving friends.
OK, so did I say “friends?” Well, corporate friends. In the business world, these people will be coming in and out of your life as they continue their own journey. And keep in mind, something that is easier to learn before than afterwards, the information you share with another spouse could be used against you if that person chooses to share that information you consider private. When silently debating whether to share information with them, ask yourself these questions: Could this information hurt another person in the company? Could this information hurt my own spouse’s career? Would I want to read my comments in print?
The balance of corporate friendships tip in your favor when you have the tools and guidance helping you define such gray areas and often controversial subjects.
One final note: I have always been told that you can count your real friends on one hand and have fingers left over. Although this may not be exactly true, it does make a point.
About Me
- Colette Young
- Colette Young started ExecuMate because she felt compelled to share her life journey of challenging opportunities and joyful successes as a top executive spouse. In 2005 Colette followed her husband Larry’s career to Dallas, Texas where he now serves as President and CEO of Dr Pepper Snapple Group. As the wife of a successful, top corporate executive for 20 years, Colette young knows the value of being a supportive spouse and all the challenges and opportunities that come with such a role. Colette received a B.S. and M.S. of Music Education from MO State University. Her own success in business and life includes a career as a professional musician, pianist, vocalist, and passion for golf (single-digit handicap). She combines them in her speaking and coaching to create a memorable and engaging experience. She draws on her broad experiences as an educator, musician, business owner, golfer and importantly, a helpmate to her husband’s career to present a unique message. Her message is one of balance in life and work—sharing a journey of unending opportunities, fearless decisions and win-by-choice outcomes through attitude, adaptability and accountability.