Moving. For any of us who have moved from one location to another, whether domestic or international, we know it is exhausting...physically and emotionally.
Physically, the packing, the living like a vagabond during the interim session, then the unpacking. Let's just face it...exhausting, which even frays our nerves.
Emotionally, the goodbyes...like, how many can a person take? Another exhaustion.
Ok, let's throw in a few more elements: a spouse with a new position, children, schools, and throw in those friends and family who you have left behind that are planning their vacations to your new home, and you haven't even found the dry cleaners or Urgent Care! You are just one step from screaming.
So what to do?
First, I suggest that you gently, yet firmly, inform your friends that you need real time to adjust to your new surroundings before ANYONE comes to visit. Yes, even though you are feeling rather lonely, time for the whole family to adjust and get into a routine is so necessary. 'Tour Guide' should be down the list quite a ways.
Second, take that time to settle in, rest when you can, but yet get your bearings, find the necessary places...the grocery store, the kid's school, etc. Center yourself each morning with positive thoughts and lots of deep breathing. Staying calm helps everyone, including yourself.
Ok, so enough for instruction, today. To my newly moved friends, time to focus on your family and yourself.
Right now, accept your new season. Drink it in. Give yourself time to adjust. But today's point is: give your family the attention needed, and know the separation from the past is really not so separated (when you consider emails and cell phones). Hey, you know that, but try giving yourself some space.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Multi-tasking
Wearing many hats...keeping all the balls in the air...
being professional person/spouse/parent/friend/home task person...
This list could go on and on and it is the same person...us!
As ExecuMate, we are more than the person married to an executive. We have many roles to fulfill, and often it becomes overwhelming. Sometimes it is not just an emotional ride, but a physical one that leaves us exhausted and admittedly 'out of it' some days.
In a recent conversation with an ExecuMate, shoulders heaved a big sigh of their own struggles just before they broke into laughter after hearing my story.
I sometimes feel that I have made it to a level of success in this crazy subject of multi-tasking. That's when life takes on a big hand palm and sweeps me right down to the ground in defeat, making me realize that it is just a daily task...a weekly experience that either I win or lose...or often as I express to those around me...like a game show of hitting the buzzer just before the game ends before proceeding to the next level.
It was a great morning, as I had planned. Every morning to me is a fresh and fabulous start. I had spoken with a reporter in Canada and all was well. Well, until I threw in that decision of doing a simple laundry task. Now I know that I am a person who needs to focus on home chores or working on my business, but....maybe not both.
Flipping on a faucett to hand wash out a couple of items in the laundry room, my cell phone rang. It was business which led me to my computer upstairs in my office, which then led me to check on an emails...yeah, you see where this is going...
Upon returning downstairs thinking life was on track, I was met by (let's see, what river shall I call it?), Sheer Panic! My feet didn't even know which direction to move as I think I went into all directions!
Ok, so the story doesn't end at just solving the problem, but unending calls in which I pleaded which most responded, 'but it has rained for 10 days here and all our people are out on calls'. Yes, someone did come, but all I could think of was...I will NEVER do this again.
Well, it was a non-damaging lesson to learn, but in one lesson, it made me put my self back on track of realizing, knowing, and embracing, that I am not the multi-tasking expert I thought I was.
Those who have heard my story (with more details) just start laughing. Why? Because they say that they have done similiar things, and recently, but told no one. Am I the only one who shares my shortfalls? I do know that I am sharing it for this reason...
This life is a journey, and the things we go through daily is school. No one has it all together every day, all the time. I know. And just when you think you have graduated to the next level, some humanizing experience just lets you know that you are just doing the best you can and it nevers feels like it is enough.
Multi-tasking? It is difficult. Find a bit of forgiveness for yourself if you come up short one day. Find a new route to take. Slow down a bit to regroup. Learn a lesson. I did.
Ok, friends, you can stop laughing now. :)
being professional person/spouse/parent/friend/home task person...
This list could go on and on and it is the same person...us!
As ExecuMate, we are more than the person married to an executive. We have many roles to fulfill, and often it becomes overwhelming. Sometimes it is not just an emotional ride, but a physical one that leaves us exhausted and admittedly 'out of it' some days.
In a recent conversation with an ExecuMate, shoulders heaved a big sigh of their own struggles just before they broke into laughter after hearing my story.
I sometimes feel that I have made it to a level of success in this crazy subject of multi-tasking. That's when life takes on a big hand palm and sweeps me right down to the ground in defeat, making me realize that it is just a daily task...a weekly experience that either I win or lose...or often as I express to those around me...like a game show of hitting the buzzer just before the game ends before proceeding to the next level.
It was a great morning, as I had planned. Every morning to me is a fresh and fabulous start. I had spoken with a reporter in Canada and all was well. Well, until I threw in that decision of doing a simple laundry task. Now I know that I am a person who needs to focus on home chores or working on my business, but....maybe not both.
Flipping on a faucett to hand wash out a couple of items in the laundry room, my cell phone rang. It was business which led me to my computer upstairs in my office, which then led me to check on an emails...yeah, you see where this is going...
Upon returning downstairs thinking life was on track, I was met by (let's see, what river shall I call it?), Sheer Panic! My feet didn't even know which direction to move as I think I went into all directions!
Ok, so the story doesn't end at just solving the problem, but unending calls in which I pleaded which most responded, 'but it has rained for 10 days here and all our people are out on calls'. Yes, someone did come, but all I could think of was...I will NEVER do this again.
Well, it was a non-damaging lesson to learn, but in one lesson, it made me put my self back on track of realizing, knowing, and embracing, that I am not the multi-tasking expert I thought I was.
Those who have heard my story (with more details) just start laughing. Why? Because they say that they have done similiar things, and recently, but told no one. Am I the only one who shares my shortfalls? I do know that I am sharing it for this reason...
This life is a journey, and the things we go through daily is school. No one has it all together every day, all the time. I know. And just when you think you have graduated to the next level, some humanizing experience just lets you know that you are just doing the best you can and it nevers feels like it is enough.
Multi-tasking? It is difficult. Find a bit of forgiveness for yourself if you come up short one day. Find a new route to take. Slow down a bit to regroup. Learn a lesson. I did.
Ok, friends, you can stop laughing now. :)
Monday, September 28, 2009
The Corporate Move
So.....as the Executive, you are doing great in your job! You are maximizing assets and minimizing problems. You are a superstar! Now, for doing such a great job, you get rewarded by the company...
(dramatic music, please....)
The Corporate Move!
So, most of us have been there: offered, accepted or declined. Statistics show that 60% of corporate moves are being declined due to 'family issues'. Oh my. That could prove to be a list! (and funny, I've known couples that moved DUE to family issues!)
Regardless, it is real, it is difficult, and it has recently been brought to my attention to address it.
First we must ask, are you the person delivering the news or hearing it for the first time?
My point today is: regardless, be ready to sit down with paper and pen, make a list of the pros and cons, gets the facts, make the plan, and then make the ADULT decision. So what does that mean? Just as I said, 2 adults making the decision, not the children getting a vote.
Now why would I say that 'cold' statement? Because, in all my 21 years as an educator, and my continuing education as a parent, it is a matter of the couple making the decision, and then 'selling' the positives to the children (after research and being quite prepared) for their new adventure.
Let me ask you this question: Who is more adaptable? Adults or children? Children, of course.
So, when your time comes to either pitch the corporate move or hear it, know that it is truly a decision that is made considering your children (and I know there are special circumstances), but knowing the facts, and then moving forward as a team....
ExecuMate: The power of 2!
(dramatic music, please....)
The Corporate Move!
So, most of us have been there: offered, accepted or declined. Statistics show that 60% of corporate moves are being declined due to 'family issues'. Oh my. That could prove to be a list! (and funny, I've known couples that moved DUE to family issues!)
Regardless, it is real, it is difficult, and it has recently been brought to my attention to address it.
First we must ask, are you the person delivering the news or hearing it for the first time?
My point today is: regardless, be ready to sit down with paper and pen, make a list of the pros and cons, gets the facts, make the plan, and then make the ADULT decision. So what does that mean? Just as I said, 2 adults making the decision, not the children getting a vote.
Now why would I say that 'cold' statement? Because, in all my 21 years as an educator, and my continuing education as a parent, it is a matter of the couple making the decision, and then 'selling' the positives to the children (after research and being quite prepared) for their new adventure.
Let me ask you this question: Who is more adaptable? Adults or children? Children, of course.
So, when your time comes to either pitch the corporate move or hear it, know that it is truly a decision that is made considering your children (and I know there are special circumstances), but knowing the facts, and then moving forward as a team....
ExecuMate: The power of 2!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Receive
This is the last of the small series of 'Believe, Achieve, Receive'.
In review, believe in yourself, achieve the path, and now...
Receive that you are in this journey for the long haul. This journey that is full of life experiences, full of rapid changes, full of bumps along the way, is here to stay. Just as in marriage when you say 'I do', it is all about the journey.
This is the ultimate gift you can give yourself: receive. Accept you are going to do your best and learn from your experiences.
Enjoy the journey!
In review, believe in yourself, achieve the path, and now...
Receive that you are in this journey for the long haul. This journey that is full of life experiences, full of rapid changes, full of bumps along the way, is here to stay. Just as in marriage when you say 'I do', it is all about the journey.
This is the ultimate gift you can give yourself: receive. Accept you are going to do your best and learn from your experiences.
Enjoy the journey!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Achieve
This past week I had the fabulous experience of visiting Atlanta, GA, in the role of ExecuMate speaker and seminar leader. What great folks with true Southern hospitality! Thank you!
After addressing the 'Believe: physical, mental, spiritual' aspect, focus is then turned to the 'Achieve' aspect.
Through an exercise, ExecuMates learn how to identify or confirm their passions...those things that fill up that cup of happiness inside. So what is a passion?
As a child through college, I played classical piano. Even as a youngster, if my mother would settle me long enough to sit on a piano bench, then the rest was a breeze. It would be time that would literally fly away...
So, this is how I describe passion to those who are trying to identify it: Something in your life that you engage in that makes time fly. You enjoy it so much you cannot believe something else requires your attention as hours have passed.
After identifying your passion, make a plan for the vehicles that get you from point A to point B. It could be education, resourcing others, the internet, or just digging in that gets you to your passion. Discover how it will be useful.
Filling one's happiness cup is essential before spilling it over to the relationship. I like the analogy of being on the plane, and when the oxygen mask falls, you must put it on yourself before helping others.
Accountability is critical. The first sign of immaturity is blaming other for your unhappiness. YOU discover your passion; YOU make the plan; YOU carry it through.
Enjoy the new adventure, the new conversations, and the improved YOU!
After addressing the 'Believe: physical, mental, spiritual' aspect, focus is then turned to the 'Achieve' aspect.
Through an exercise, ExecuMates learn how to identify or confirm their passions...those things that fill up that cup of happiness inside. So what is a passion?
As a child through college, I played classical piano. Even as a youngster, if my mother would settle me long enough to sit on a piano bench, then the rest was a breeze. It would be time that would literally fly away...
So, this is how I describe passion to those who are trying to identify it: Something in your life that you engage in that makes time fly. You enjoy it so much you cannot believe something else requires your attention as hours have passed.
After identifying your passion, make a plan for the vehicles that get you from point A to point B. It could be education, resourcing others, the internet, or just digging in that gets you to your passion. Discover how it will be useful.
Filling one's happiness cup is essential before spilling it over to the relationship. I like the analogy of being on the plane, and when the oxygen mask falls, you must put it on yourself before helping others.
Accountability is critical. The first sign of immaturity is blaming other for your unhappiness. YOU discover your passion; YOU make the plan; YOU carry it through.
Enjoy the new adventure, the new conversations, and the improved YOU!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Believe; the Spiritual Aspect
The past 2 posts addressed the physical and mental aspects of believing in yourself. We review that to have good self-esteem, some plan for exercising the body, eating right, and maintaining good health is essential. The second is to continue your learning, to expand your knowledge by keeping up with the news, current events plus finding that passion you can take ownership of and learning more about it.
The third component is the Spiritual Aspect. I am convinced that everyone needs to find that higher power that is bigger than themselves or their world. Praying and/or meditating every morning plants us firm on the ground and braces us for the up-coming events. That personal spiritual relationship can calm us and help us sort out who we are and how we are going to handle the day.
(If you do not have a spiritual aspect to your life, I propose you ask yourself this one question, after reading this statement: when something so great comes along in your life that you are grateful for, and there is no particular person, purpose, for it to happen to you...who do you thank? Who are you grateful to?)
Believe in yourself, find self-esteem, by those three tools:
physical
mental
spiritual
So what are you working on?
The third component is the Spiritual Aspect. I am convinced that everyone needs to find that higher power that is bigger than themselves or their world. Praying and/or meditating every morning plants us firm on the ground and braces us for the up-coming events. That personal spiritual relationship can calm us and help us sort out who we are and how we are going to handle the day.
(If you do not have a spiritual aspect to your life, I propose you ask yourself this one question, after reading this statement: when something so great comes along in your life that you are grateful for, and there is no particular person, purpose, for it to happen to you...who do you thank? Who are you grateful to?)
Believe in yourself, find self-esteem, by those three tools:
physical
mental
spiritual
So what are you working on?
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Believe in Yourself; the Mental Aspect
How do we believe in ourselves, mentally? You might be thinking, what does that mean, Colette?
In trying to complete a rounded 'self':
1) Be Organized.
There is nothing quite like the feeling after cleaning out a closet, a desk, a room, a garage...the purge. When we purge, we are taking out the unused, the unwanted, the 'stuff' that we once thought was important, and organizing what is left to look, feel, and useable good.
My suggestion: do it in your physical life, and then do it in your mind. Life needs organization.
2) Expand your knowledge.
Find interest in what is going on in the world news; charities around you; school for your new interest; even a trip to the hardware store to learn how to expoxy your own garage floor (hey, I did it). Push your limits and boundaries outward.
In being an ExecuMate, it is more inviting for your Executive to come home to organization (they will notice). Plus, over that quality time you have set aside for the two of you, at each opportunity, you will have an interesting conversation that is much more than 'what happened with the children today' or 'what went wrong at our work today'.
Keep yourself interesting and perhaps you can draw your spouse into your world, your new passions. It will be refreshing, and the enthusiasm can become contagious!
In trying to complete a rounded 'self':
1) Be Organized.
There is nothing quite like the feeling after cleaning out a closet, a desk, a room, a garage...the purge. When we purge, we are taking out the unused, the unwanted, the 'stuff' that we once thought was important, and organizing what is left to look, feel, and useable good.
My suggestion: do it in your physical life, and then do it in your mind. Life needs organization.
2) Expand your knowledge.
Find interest in what is going on in the world news; charities around you; school for your new interest; even a trip to the hardware store to learn how to expoxy your own garage floor (hey, I did it). Push your limits and boundaries outward.
In being an ExecuMate, it is more inviting for your Executive to come home to organization (they will notice). Plus, over that quality time you have set aside for the two of you, at each opportunity, you will have an interesting conversation that is much more than 'what happened with the children today' or 'what went wrong at our work today'.
Keep yourself interesting and perhaps you can draw your spouse into your world, your new passions. It will be refreshing, and the enthusiasm can become contagious!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
