Balancing Life Physically: Exercise!

My fitness instructor friend of 25 years (who also leads the fitness session in my seminars) admitted when we were walking one day that she craved exercise. I confessed that I craved chocolate – but worked daily on my fitness.

I know what is best for me, usually. Doing it is another thing. So how do we get ourselves on board?

Discipline is a learned behavior, not a gift. I have worked on my own discipline for years to work out in order to enjoy better health. Truthfully, times have waxed and waned. I’d much rather play golf, thank you. But discipline is the key to balance, and it is instrumental to achieving our goals, whether in fitness, work or life.

So what's the plan? If you can find time first thing in the morning before the demands of the day begin, exercise is a great way to clear your mind and start the day off right – with balance. I walk vigorously and use that time to meditate. If you’re a multi-tasking type like me, walking meditation is a great way to enjoy the benefits of exercise and meditation at the same time.

Finding your balance physically is important to finding balance in life. I do it daily while meditating and sometimes dreaming of . . .  chocolate.

Focus: Staying in the Moment

Many of my clients have expressed trouble shutting down work in their mind when they get home. Conversing with a spouse or children, watching TV, or even the simplest social task of listening becomes impossible. Ears go numb as problem-solving continues on the day's tasks. What to do?!

Meditation. So, exactly what does that mean?

Well, it is simply (and done through discipline) finding 15 minutes in the morning before your work day to read inspirational passages, pray to a higher being, reflect on personal meaningful thoughts, clear your mind while walking - or preferably - all of the above. The time and discipline to do this creates an ability to call on focus when you need it - to go to that peaceful place on call.

Time to try it!

Spring Cleaning: Ourselves

Ah, sure . . . it's that time of year to consider our closets, storage and pantries. What do we keep? What do we throw away?

Purging is such a satisfying task for me. Whether I am reorganizing my closet or taking inventory of my life, the end result is gratifying.

I have encountered recent conversations with clients who have not taken time to organize their lives. Sounds funny, even peculiar, to some of us. How could those people who are so successful in their business and professional lives be so UNorganized in their personal lives? Going home has no appeal! Living day-to-day at home is terrifying.

Here is an exercise to get things rolling:

1. Lay your life plan out as you would a business plan. Yes, in print. Seeing our lives in an organized manner in front of us gives us realization and rest. It doesn't need to be complicated, just write it down! What do we want in six months, a year, five years?

2. Confer with your partner. Headed in the right direction? If not, discuss and regroup.

3. Set the plan knowing that things do change, but at least you’re planning. Put it in motion and as I say, "eat that elephant one bite at a time.”

Time to organize. Purge old conceptions that "life is difficult.” And yes, it would be good to clean out your closet. The cleansing is so gratifying.

Marriage vs. Friendship: One in the Same?

I am always excited to see friendships develop into relationships – and find marriage.

The best marriages I know, including my own, speak to the beginning friendship. Oh sure, we’ve all had infatuations that landed flat in time, but as our elders have taught us, the relationships that started in friendship are the ones that last.

But somehow, usually through the side roads of rearing children, hardships, or seeing to the needs of others, that basic foundation of friendship gets forgotten. So, when I am leading seminars, we talk about those beginning friendships and get back to the basics.

When I am golfing and my game is off, I go back to the basics where the power in playing lies. When I correct my basic swing, my golf ball goes in the direction I am aiming. When I am shooting guns and missing targets, I go back to the shooting range and site my gun in. I get my sites back on track, and I immediately improve.

So it is with marriage. When you get back to the basic elements of friendship, marriage improves. Direction and sites are back! What are a few basics to remember?

· Listen. Have empathy for your partner.
· Try to meet the needs of your partner.
· Put the effort in, and not just for a short while.
· Share the good as well as the bad. Have fun together by sharing an interest.

This is a start. Rekindle your friendship and make plans for this weekend to do something fun and exciting with your best friend, your spouse!

And the Oscar Goes to . . . The Power of Two

I watched the Oscars Sunday night, and the overpowering message during the acceptance speeches was thank you, spouse, for the opportunity to do my job as best as I could, knowing I had the support of you behind me, with no criticism in the time I spent doing it, and balancing my home life as I was not always there.

OK, so that is paraphrased, but the message came across in many emotions, and words of praise and thanks. Perhaps Christian Bale said it best when he choked up upon thanking his wife: “And of course mostly, my wonderful wife. My wonderful wife who’s my mast through the storms of life, I hope I’m likewise to you, darling, and our little girl who’s taught me so much more than I’ll ever be able to teach her. Thank you, thank you so much.”

I would imagine that there were many issues that had to be dealt with by the spouse, and many phone calls that refereed the home field. However, it happened because each person in that marriage/relationship made a conscience decision before the project to pick up the slack, to work on this project to make their lifestyle better, and to be partners in making it happen.

That’s the power of two… in Hollywood, in the corporate world, and in our own lives.

Among Corporate Spouses: Are We Really Friends?

Early in the learning curve as their executive partners are climbing the corporate ladder, corporate spouses often comment and inquire, “We socialize often with people within our company at events. I really do like these other spouses since we connect on many levels. But I want to know, are we really friends? Where do I draw the line?”

What a great question! And if you’re asking the question, you’re already a step ahead by understanding that there should be a line.

It’s true, as spouses in the corporate world, we do connect on many of same subject levels . . . married, trailing, children, often alone, feeling solo, relocated, little time with our spouses, and the list continues. Pretty soon, spouses are commiserating their lists of complaints at parties, over coffee, and the “allied or angry” balance can weigh heavy on the angry side finding blame all around them. With “the list,” they view themselves as bonded friends who have common ground. But as I view them, they’re bonded by complaints.

However, corporate spouses can learn the skills it takes to turn this scenario around 180 degrees to be a positive experience. Through an ExecuMate seminar or one-on-one mentoring, the informed executive spouse develops the awareness to know conversations such as these can quickly turn negative, and use their learned skills to maneuver those conversations in a positive direction. Through sharing ideas, maintaining a positive mental attitude, practiced skills of adaptability, finding your own passions to enrich your life, and sharing the ‘power of two’ experience through seminars or mentoring, corporate spouses can be transformed into a supportive group, helping each other through the journey. They now connect as problem-solving friends.

OK, so did I say “friends?” Well, corporate friends. In the business world, these people will be coming in and out of your life as they continue their own journey. And keep in mind, something that is easier to learn before than afterwards, the information you share with another spouse could be used against you if that person chooses to share that information you consider private. When silently debating whether to share information with them, ask yourself these questions: Could this information hurt another person in the company? Could this information hurt my own spouse’s career? Would I want to read my comments in print?

The balance of corporate friendships tip in your favor when you have the tools and guidance helping you define such gray areas and often controversial subjects.

One final note: I have always been told that you can count your real friends on one hand and have fingers left over. Although this may not be exactly true, it does make a point.

Racing Ahead: A Checkered Flag!

The Andretti family is one of the most well-known names in the racing industry: Mario, Michael, Marco. All capable of driving at incredibly high speeds, winning numerous famous world races.

Today, my story is about Michael Andretti. He uses the same amount of well-honed skill and focus helping people – which he’s made part of his life’s work through the Michael Andretti Foundation and lives it every day, as you’ll read in a moment - as he does successfully maneuvering a race car or coaching from the pits.

While in Toronto, Canada, for an Indy race this past weekend, I dined at the CN Tower, a stunning view atop the second highest building in the world. While lunching, an engaging server asked my friend and me about our visit to the city. When we shared that we were there to support the Andretti Team, especially Marco Andretti driving the #26 Venom car, he beamed a huge smile. “About 15 years ago, I was a bus boy here, and Michael Andretti dined here,” he shared. “He was so nice to all of us. He autographed hats, shirts, and had his picture taken with each one of us. I still have the photo plus the things he gave us. It was a highlight in my life!”

I shared this story with Michael at dinner that night, and he smiled, blushed a bit, and nodded with “that’s great,” sotto voce.

I exclaimed, “You can’t buy that kind of great advertisement, you have to live it!” I knew he did. Every day.

Isn’t life remarkable when the good seeds we sow find fertile ground and the crops may be reaped for years? Isn’t life great when we choose integrity and kindness as a balance of life and work? People do notice.

As we all race ahead in life, those who win practice what each of us in any walk of life is capable of doing every day: small acts of kindness, integrity and respect.

The checkered flag is waving - Michael Andretti, once again, you are a winner!