Balancing Life Emotionally: Cancel the Soap Opera!

As a guest, I was observing a fireside chat of women who were discussing the emotional roller coaster of life. Each had their own story of distress, and some shared how the downturn had changed the ride up. That was the best part, of course. However, one participant spoke to the point that she felt balance of life was boring and lacked emotional luster.

Well, it was all I could do to sit quietly and listen as this highly educated woman elaborated. Obviously, I disagree. She defined balance as that flatline of not feeling life.

In my own and others’ observations of life, calm is good. When bad drama does not enter my day, that is success. I do admit I know those who relish in daily drama and even create it when life is riding along smoothly. Truly, I don't think they even know they consciously do that, but simply, that is where their comfort zone lies.

Don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting that anyone swallow their emotions or not embrace the feelings of what is happening, good or bad. I'm just asking – do you have a drama queen in your life? Or do you create drama? Self-made drama is draining and stress-inducing – who needs that? Take a step back and ask yourself why – and then take action to reduce it. Maybe just being conscious of this issue will raise awareness for you. 

One great real world example is the best competitive athletes. They want to win and when they don't, they resolve their emotions with dignity and grace and more devotion to their sport.

So, as a competitive spirit in life, find your mentor, look for their example of balance, accept what happens in your life and find the positive. Address the tough game but be wise enough to recognize and enjoy a day of balanced peace.

Shalom.

Shoot for the Moon - Bring Back a Few Stars

Big dreams, big hopes, big plans, big hair, big Texas (ok, I’m in Texas, small joke) . . . but big dreams can become reality. How do we balance those dreams with reality which will balance our lives and work?
 

1. Plan realistically. This means research your passion and find a place in that dream that spells out y-o-u! If you have five children, you may not want to plan on a dream career that leads you away from home a lot – at least until the kids are out on their own! If your dream career is being a teacher and the schedules coordinate as your children are at school, then that is realistic. Here are a few ideas on how to find your dream career.
2. Time frame has to be right. You are 30 years old and decide to be a professional athlete. That’s not much of a reality due to the timeline. But playing on a recreational team IS realistic at the age of 30. Get it?
3. Look around and see how your dreams affect those around you. Can your dreams feed your family? Work within your financial means? You want to be a star? The “starving artist” or “starving musician” is not a great plan if you are the breadwinner. I know, I was a musician, and sometimes being a star is being a super talent in your profession.
4. Make a plan and stick with it. If your plan is on target, then hang in there. Yes, it is a grind most times (for years) to be an “overnight success” in any industry.
5. Be happy. That is, be happy in your choice. No buyer’s regret or looking back after you have dug in. Being happy is a choice.

Shooting for the moon is a great target, and if you do make it, congratulations! But if you happen to miss the target but bring back a few stars, well, that’s a great thing, too.

Balancing Work and Life from the Home Office

When I was researching this concept two years ago, I found it began in other countries and very common. The U.S. just started entertaining this concept for real. And, there are many reasons, but I am going to shoot for the reason being we are a very structured country. OK, just guessing…

But onto the subject at hand, can life be more balanced by working from the home? And how does that work?

A recent conversation with a married 30-ish career woman, wife and mother of a three-year-old, revealed it was a great idea. Before, she spent so much time preparing for the day, arranging schedules, finding a back-up sitter when the little guy was sick, etc., that her productivity at work was lacking. However, the simple routine now goes like this: 

1. Get the three-year-old ready for preschool, prep breakfast and out the door with Dad.  He drops him off on the way to work.
2. She goes into her office, works until noon, takes a walk/lunch break, returns to working at her computer and on the phone until husband and child return home. She also has time now in the afternoon break to prepare a bit of supper for the evening. 
3. By working from home, she is more productive at work and less stressed at home. It’s a good balance for her – and her family.

It does seem like a good plan. My only caution: carve out face time with clients or bosses as we would not want the slogan “out of sight, out of mind” to create an invisible employee.

Working from home can be a success but only with that one reoccurring word: discipline. Be sure to weigh the potential benefits and challenges if you’re contemplating the switch.

Recognizing the Seasons of Life

As winter is still upon us and we look forward to spring, I’m reflecting on the seasons of life. So which season are you presently in?

To recognize that season, please take note it is not determined by years of life, but how you have navigated through your life and how you have processed it. After recognition, one must determine what to do with that season, and if you are ready to move to the next, etc. 

An important part of recognizing your current season, I believe, is nailing down your priorities. Where are your priorities? Time? Money? Family? Friends? Fun? The answer lies within your own mind, of course, but to truly recognize them, look at your life. Where do you spend the majority of emphasis in time and energy? It is true that actions speak louder than words. So, if you don’t like where the pie chart is taking you on priorities, take time to change it . . . through actions.

And then, to seek that balance in priorities, are you changing because you WANT to, or is it because you or someone you love is hurt enough that you HAVE to. Regardless, free will has attitude, and producing a good attitude during the change will not only help you, but those around you, weather any storm.

As winter might be dragging a bit in your life and you are looking forward to a brighter spring-like day, find your priorities, recognize your season, and make your plan to change if you don’t like the current forecast.

Maintaining Work-Life Balance While Traveling

I am in my office at this moment catching up from traveling. I have found that it makes no difference if being gone is for work or fun. Returning to piles of work in my office is a drag. So I ask myself constantly, how can I make this balance better?

1. Phones with email access are a huge help. Who can live without a smartphone these days?!  I find that when I return home I can zip through the emails repeated on my computer in a delete frenzie if I have tended to them on my iPhone.

2. Take work with you. I try to take a bit of work in different areas, whether it be my business, my home bills or my ranch paperwork; and my iPad, which I can write a blog or two on if I need to be creative. I give myself choices so when I do get home, I am able to feel like I did something, even if it wasn’t as much as I had hoped. If you take too much with you, your briefcase will be very lonely on that trip sitting in the corner. Paul Davis, a writer who was able to work full-time for six months while road tripping his way through the United States, shares lots of good ideas for how to work while on the road on his blog, Vagabondish.

3. Don’t beat yourself up. I have done this so many times. It is a fact for everyone that you will be behind for a while, well, that is, unless you have an assistant! 

4. Reward yourself for catching up. Movie anyone? How about a nice long walk to de-stress and chat with a friend as you walk? Or how about planning your next trip? Now, that’s a reward!!

Balancing the Scale

Being physically fit has always been in my sights. Even as a child, I watched intently as Jack LaLanne would demonstrate his exercises and isometrics on the black and white TV. During my 20s, high impact aerobics were popular, and my family and friends were in that era, but in my 30s I noticed that it was tennis, then later golf. But in my busier work career, the routine had fallen off, as I was “busy” and “didn’t have time.” Yes, it can gradually take you down a road where the sight of stairs drives you to the elevator. So, my excuse in my 40s became a time issue… and rightly so as every moment seemed filled. However, could I have made that balance? And “HOW could I?” is really the question.

Devotion and commitment are two words that must be forefront. And IF I had disciplined myself to that 30 extra minutes three times per week, it could have made a difference in my mental game. Priority is another key word. So where does your priority lie?

I have noticed that big companies have fitness rooms, and nice ones, too, that offer employees the opportunity to get moving towards fitness. Or how about a lunch walk in which you take your sandwich on a walk with you? And a co-worker, too! Not only will you be moving and losing, but you will not be spending those extra dollars on an out-to-lunch date which can be costly over time. The military offers a few great tips for even working out at your desk!

I think we get it. It is a matter of MAKING time, early in the day, or lunch time, to find the commitment, devotion and priority to make it happen.

Jack LaLanne and his programs were broadcast in black and white. Come to think of it, the concept is black and white… just do it. Then colorful results will appear with a better you in the mirror.

Balancing Work and Life: How to Rise Before the Sun Does

I recently posted ten reasons to wake up early, but I thought it would also be helpful to share a few ideas on how to make this possible. Waking up early is important to achieving balance each day because it prepares you for the day ahead and allows you to do things you don’t usually have time for. While the benefits of waking up earlier may seem obvious, actually finding the motivation to stop snoozing each day may feel a little more daunting – but it doesn’t have to be. Here are six ideas Peter Shankman recently shared:

6) Water. Keep a glass of water next to your bed and drink the entire glass before your alarm shuts off. Water is a great wake-up call because it opens brain cells and rejuvenates you.

5) Get up—now! Move your alarm clock to somewhere you can’t reach so you have to get out of bed to turn it off. Some even recommend putting the kibosh on your alarmclock’s snooze feature. This and the water will help get you moving faster.

4) Get a pet. Feed a pet at 5 a.m. once, and he or she will make sure you’re up and at ‘em to eat!

3) Just do it. Don’t tell yourself you’re going to wake up early, actually do it! If you set your alarm at 5 a.m., wake up at 5 a.m. No snoozing until 6:30!

2) Leave your room. Once you’re done sleeping, it’s time to leave the bedroom. Go drink some coffee in the kitchen or check your email and read the paper in the living room.

1) Early to bed… Early to rise. Easiest way to get up earlier? Get to bed and get those eight hours! Yes, this might be a transition at first, but when you start to enjoy the things you’re able to accomplish in the morning, you’ll find all the motivation you need to get to bed earlier.

The best way to start a new routine is to just do it! Don’t wait until the first of next month or after a vacation. There are always a million reasons not to do something. Don’t make anymore excuses – try waking up early tomorrow morning and see how much you can accomplish before 7 a.m. Better balance is just an early morning away.

Balancing Work and Life: Rise and Shine

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man (and woman!) healthy, wealthy and wise.  You’ve heard the saying – and let’s add “balanced” to that list of benefits. Personally, I’m a morning person – I find it the perfect time to meditate and exercise, preparing me for a calmer, more balanced day.

While I understand we’re not all morning people, there are many positives to waking up earlier, including improving your work-life balance. Why? Peter Shankman summed it up in a recent post called Why You NEED To Get Up Earlier (And How To Do It!). Here are Peter’s top 10 reasons to get up early every day – which I agree with 100 percent:

10) Daily dose of information. Take ten minutes to read your favorite websites or newspaper so you know all the relevant current events for the day. Why do it before you get your day started? You can read several websites without being interrupted by emails or calls.

9) Make the mornings about you. With minimal distractions happening this early, it’s one of the only times in the day to focus on yourself. Make some coffee, play with your pets or do yoga to set the tone of calm and balance for the day.

8) Appreciate the little things. You might see the sun set every day, but how often do you wake up early enough to appreciate a sunrise? It’s amazing how something as simple as watching the sun rise can help to put life into perspective.

7) You’re not running late! The “rush” and anxiety of running late in the morning can follow you all day long. Getting up earlier ensures you are on time and calmer once you get to work. Peter also mentions that “studies have shown that being on time is one thing that good leaders master, as well as demand.” Is your boss always on time? Impress them by doing the same.

6) Eat breakfast. Oh yes, that often forgotten but oh-so-important first meal of the day. As a helpful reminder, be sure to set out the bowl, spoon and cereal at night.

5) Move it! Waking up earlier means you get the park or treadmill all to yourself. When most people hit the gym around 6:30 a.m., you can be there to claim your space well before then.

4) A more enjoyable drive to work. Isn’t this enough reason to get up earlier? Hit the road before everyone else does and you’ll be much calmer throughout the day. Notice a pattern yet?

3) Greet the day like a power player. Want to know why CEOs and other leaders are so successful? One key secret is 7 a.m. breakfasts. They have important meetings with influential people over coffee and eggs because they get up earlier than everyone else.

2) “Spare time” activity. Wish you could update your blog more? Organize emails? Play piano? Do these activities early in the morning when you normally would be sleeping.

1) Do something important. Peter says the number one reason to get up early is to take 30 minutes to change the world. Getting up early can make a difference in your life for all the above reasons. Imagine just doing a few of these things. How much more productive would you feel each day?

While there are many benefits to waking up early, including finding that all-important balance - in the next post, we’ll talk about something that may be a little tougher to conquer: HOW to wake up earlier.

New Year's Resolutions: Practicing Balance Every Day

Happy New Year! A new year means new resolutions. For many of us, this might mean working out more, losing weight or saving money. Finding work-life balance may not be as common a resolution as losing weight, but it can have the same impact. What’s the real reason for finding balance? Feel better? Reduce stress? Be healthier? All of the above? But similar to many other resolutions, it can be easy to start – and too easy to stop.

The idea of initiating goals for the year on January 1 is absolutely reasonable – but only revisiting your life goals and priorities once a year is unreasonable. Instead, take time to revisit them on a regular – even daily – basis throughout the year, especially when there are major life events in the road ahead.  

For example, rather than setting a general goal of “finding balance” that may feel overwhelming, try asking “what is something small I can do each day to achieve balance in my life?” Whether it’s finding 30 minutes for yourself each day or leaving work at the office at the end of the day, these small, daily steps provide positive reinforcement as you work toward the ultimate goal. This maintains motivation because you’re achieving something every day.

By assessing and working toward your goals, including balancing work and life, on a regular or even daily basis, you can set attainable targets and be proud of all the things you’ve accomplished in the last year.   

Balancing Work and Life: Gratitude

More and more, I am convinced that if we take a few minutes to find gratitude early in our day, each day is more balanced. If we do this each day, that adds up to weeks, months, years –  and a life – of balance.

I like to watch the morning news as I get ready and dressed for the day. Unfortunately, most of it is bad news for breakfast. So what can we do to Scotchguard ourselves from the bad news around us? We can immerse ourselves in plain and simple gratitude by creating a mental – or even written – list of the good in our lives. Hey, just being thankful for waking up and putting our feet on the ground is something!

Years ago, when I realized I was having a “feel sorry for myself” day, I would MAKE myself drive by the local hospital on the way home from work. Yes, it was perhaps 10 minutes out of my way, but I consciously knew I had to snap myself out of it and make room for gratitude. Now, I start my mornings with a breakfast of gratitude to make sure every day is in proper perspective.  

Gratitude is like attitude in that it’s contagious. The more you focus on the positive, the more positive comes your way! Plus, you have the power to spread it around.

As we enter 2012, be powerful in your gratitude and see how your day, week, month and new year goes! Watch how it spreads around you. And, a bonus is that someone in your world will have you on THEIR grateful list.

Balancing Work and Life: Rekindle Your First Love

Think back to your first love. Are you visualizing a much younger version of yourself in a special time of your life?

Last night I was on my last cell of energy, feeling half ill from the weeks of pushing myself, driven through the Christmas season, and now finding myself dressing for a formal party which I had previously looked forward to, but was now just dragging towards. My body, nor my heart was in it and every move felt exaggerated. The couch looked so much better to join – not a party!

Arriving and making my hellos through the crowd, I was doing my best to be myself enjoying the festive crowd. A lovely dinner was served and the conversation went well. At least I was getting to sit down, I thought, which was a great consolation for a much tired me. 

And then the most rewarding, uplifting and renewing experience happened. My first love arrived at the party. I sat up straighter, my heart beat a bit faster, my dull headache faded, a warm tingling feeling raced from my toes to my cold fingertips. A genuine smile even spread across my face and the tired lines disappeared as a younger version of myself appeared. I felt the love. I had pushed back this feeling for so long. I realized immediately I had not be attentive to my own needs.

A fabulously talented pianist sat down and filled the air with piano music – my first love. My heart felt joy and I was also mentally playing every note, remembering what my first love and passion was. I had been a professional pianist for 20+ years and had thrived and survived on expressing myself through music. How remiss on my part to neglect my first love.

As I filled my cup by the end of the evening, I walked away with the knowledge that I had forgotten to feed my passion. My current work self, who never gets the list finished, had not spent any time restoring the life me. I had a new attitude on balancing my life and work.

Have your spent time with your first love lately? As you can see from this story, it is not cheating on your present self. Set aside some quality time to restore yourself, and may your days be merry and bright. God bless.

Givers and Takers: The Balance

The holidays are a time when people are fixated on giving. We shop for presents to give our friends and family. We search for the perfect gift and enjoy the emotional response of them liking it. There has to be some endorphin released doing this because so many people love to give. Give, give give!

Many years ago (which I refer to with my friends as BL as in "Before Larry") I was a big giver. The giving I am speaking of, though, is not physical gifts, but relationship giving. I was wearing myself out trying to please people and give, give, give. 

I have a friend who who recognized my imbalance of giving and taking. When he approached me about it - and did and intervention of sorts - I was in total denial. Eventually, he gave me a book, The Givers & The Takers, to read and absorb. This book explains that being a giver is not all good, that we needed to find times and relationships in which to take.

Needless to say, this 25-year-old intervention has stuck with me. I have thought about it and worked with the idea for years, and find that a balance means not only reaching a good place, but it has also grown in other parts of my life.

Givers and takers. I hope today you can take with you this lesson and apply it to find more balance in your life.

Turning Off the Workaholic Mindset

At certain points in life, we find ourselves working very hard on our careers. Whether we’re working toward a promotion, looking for a new position or even relocating, it’s during these times we need to be especially mindful of our work life balance. I came across a great post on the Work Awesome blog by Nathan Gilmore that shares a number of pointers about how to create balance – and happiness – at work and home.

Here are 10 key points that Nathan shares:

1)     Work fewer hours
Thanks to smartphones, many people feel they must always be connected and ready to work. Gilmore also suggests establishing a four-day work week.

2)     Spend time with family and friends

Create a similar work schedule to the important people in your life so you can enjoy free time together.

3)     Save work for the office

Having a “working environment” is crucial, but equally important is having a “non-working environment.” Make your home a place of rest, not an extension of your office.

4)     Keep your eyes off your phone
Do you have that itch to “always be connected?” Set a regularly scheduled day or timeframe to turn it off. It’s important to spend quality time with your family and friends and keep your focus and attention on them during that time.

5)     Find a few hobbies

Enjoying hobbies will help you get out of work mode. It’s especially helpful if those hobbies can include friends or family because it helps you stay connected.

6)     Enjoy relaxing

It’s okay to relax and take time to recharge your mind and body. If you don’t take time for yourself, you won’t be as productive at work or at home.

7)     Accomplish personal goals

Think of all the time and energy you put into reaching goals at work. It’s equally as important to have a few reasonable life goals to work toward.

8)     Only think about working while at work

Again, shut off that phone! Be in the present and focus on what you’re currently doing. Only think about work when you are physically at work.

9)     Help your friends and community

Donate to a charity, give back to your community or help someone you know. You will feel better about yourself when you do something for others.

10)  Don’t wait, do it now!

When you physically punch out of work today, mentally do the same thing. Don’t check anymore email for the day. Shut off your work mind and focus on everything else going on in your life, because there’s always plenty to think about.

Balancing Life Financially: Excellent Payout!

As the holiday shopping season is officially underway, what better time to think about – and act on – balancing your life financially. When I was a newlywed, my oh-so-financially-astute husband had a huge shiver when I shared my financial knowledge. I drew upon my musician personality to make my financial decisions. Now it is a funny story to share in seminars, but looking in the rear view mirror, it was plain pitiful!

Through the years I have learned so much. And in my seminars, we address finances. Not the financial amount of dollars, but amount of knowledge. As I have often said, knowledge is power. Power enables us to balance our lives and career. Win-win-win!

So if you are looking for that knowledge, let's hit a few how-to points:

Step 1: Recognize your finances. Identify your accounts, where they are located and how much is in each account.

Step 2: Learn the basic terminology. What is a stock, bond, mutual fund, asset allocation, etc.

Step 3: Recognize where you are in your life, by age and circumstances. What is your tolerance for risk and your investment objective? Do you know where you want to be in five years? 25 years? Set your goals accordingly.

Step 4: Find a broker/investment professional you trust. Establish a relationship. It is important you feel comfortable and trustworthy of them, a person that is working on your behalf. One who you can ask questions and foster a process of learning.

Step 5: Meet with your personal advisor regularly to discuss changes as they occur, and adjust your plan if needed.

If you choose to do it yourself, there are oodles of free tools available to help you manage your accounts. Check with your bank on options they may offer or try a free online tool to help you see where your money is – and where it’s going.

The school of life is a continuous process. Remember that your finances are considered part of the “long haul.” Stay the course and down the road the payout can be very rewarding.

Proactivity: The Stress Buster

Have you ever observed someone spending more energy on fixing a problem when they could have used half that energy to do it right, the first time? Sports enthusiasts talk “offense,” but do they place it in their daily lives? Are you being proactive in arranging your personal life so as to knock out some stress? Proactivity is certainly part of being organized. In fact, “Be Proactive” is also Stephen Covey’s Habit #1 in his wildly popular book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

Here are a several examples of living the “proactive” philosophy each day to help reduce stress – and find that all important balance:

·         Scheduling regular checkups on your car and your health.

·         Putting a fire exit plan together for your home, not just work.

·         Paying personal bills monthly via auto deductions on checking accounts and credit cards, not reacting to a paper bill that can get hidden in a stack of papers.

·         Setting up a backup babysitter plan for when the daycare unexpectedly closes, so you don’t have to panic or take off work.

·         Storing personal items in one place, like keys, so there is no morning scramble looking for them.

·         Sitting down and making a proactive plan for you and your family!

 What a stress buster!

Company Culture: Important to Finding Balance

This year, I was invited to play at a charity golf tournament sponsored by Chic-fil-A. I had been around a few of the executives before with my husband and was looking forward to the event. It was well executed with generous entry gifts, golf pros in every group, and even hot Chic-fil-A sandwiches delivered on the course!  But I must say, what superseded all of that was the effervescence of Chic-fil-A’s company culture. One didn't need to read the handbook on this one. Their beliefs rang clear by what I call lead by example.

The executive leadership team was dedicated to “total customer service” to their guests.  When served their food in the hotel or by each other, there was a spirit of sincere gratitude and a moment of praise for each task executed. It was quite impressive to say the least! It also provided a mental photo opportunity of how to treat others. Words like kindness, integrity and phrases like “the golden rule” came to mind. This was a great life lesson of balancing life with work, and the results were obvious how it reflected in their personal lives as they spoke of their families.

Does a company's culture come from the top? Or is it like a heartbeat that is felt from within? Or is it passed down from company history? And after identified, is your company culture something you can embrace? And some of you may be asking, "what are you talking about?!"

Company culture encompasses the values and beliefs that are shared by management, employees and shareholders. It should be strong and lasting, but it may change with time, employees and circumstances. Does your company culture value work-life balance? Or is it time to revisit?

Company culture.

Can you read it? Yes.
Can you see it? Yes.
Can you feel it? A powerful yes!

Balancing Life and Work: Trust

Trust is the backbone of any relationship – and an important part of creating balance between work and life. While researching the concept of trust, I was not surprised to find lots of negative activity surrounding it. Songs have been written about the lack thereof, counseling sites filled with resolving issues, and then there are the talk shows filled with distrust.

But how do we address trust in a positive fashion to help us find balance in our lives?

At Work: Surround yourself with trustworthy people. When working with new colleagues or hiring employees, do your homework on them. Have they been recommended? And by whom? Also, use your gut-o-meter. If it has a glitch of doubt, move on. Building trust with your co-workers is critical to developing a strong, successful team – and helps tremendously in achieving balance.

At Home: It’s critical to foster an environment of trust with those people who are most important to you. Family members and spouses must establish absolute trust in each other and know that they are in it as a team for the long-term.

In either situation, if trust is damaged, the road back is long and rocky. But trust works both ways. Both parties must have a mutual sense of trust in each other. How do you make yourself more trustworthy? Here are a few qualities that will help:

-          Be reliable to those around you.

-          Be punctual at home and work.

-          Tell the truth and don’t lie just to please others.

-          Listen and understand people.

-          Keep things private that were told to you in confidence.

So, keep it simple, trust others with good probability. And by all means, work on being trustworthy. Building mutual trust and support of your team – at work and at home – is critical to finding balance in both.

The List Maker: I Don't Know How She Does It

Have you seen the new movie, “I Don’t Know How She Does It?” It is a wonderful movie, situationally realistic, in which Sarah Jessica Parker's character is frantically trying to balance her career and her personal life of being a wife and mom. During the movie we nod in agreement, laugh with her, see ourselves, and feel the guilt of being MIA with our own family.

During the movie she lives by “the list.” Later in the plot her husband tries the list concept. Hey, I felt that was downright gallant!

Okay, interruption: let’s talk about the list. I have lived by “the list” for years and may I say – it works! It is not a bad thing. It does not make me – or any of you – bad. It is not about being obsessed, but ORGANIZED. 

So back to the movie... at the end she gives up the list in an effort to “free” herself. I wanted to cry out, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” We’ll never know if giving up the list worked – but if it were real life, I doubt it. The lack of a list likely would have made her life more stressful. I just have to walk away knowing it is only a movie . . .

That said, try the list, okay? It’s a great tool to help reduce stress and achieve balance in real life and work.

Balance of Life and Work: Friends

In a past blog, we addressed corporate spouses as friends. We pointed out that it is possible and usual, but within certain boundaries.

In trying to achieve good work-life balance, we need personal friends outside our work place to create a better balance.

Usually those friends are from our past, our childhood, teen or youth where we shared that huge learning curve together having no judgment placed on us at the time. Sometimes we gain good friends as adults by going through tough circumstances. Some ask: do we still need those friends as we have moved on, as in corporate moves? And if so, where does the value lie in continuing the relationships?

True friends keep us balanced by offering us the variety and spice of life. Good friends expand our horizons, foster our strengths and support us when times get tough. What is so important to me is that real friends provide that extended safe place to exist – that comfort zone of home.

So how do we know who our real friends are? Trust. True friends are those you can pick up a conversation with as if no time has passed.

I love and appreciate my friends, those who I am privileged to have in my life today, and those who I have been blessed with who have moved on. I keep their words of advice and comfort close at hand as tools to use when I need to keep my life in better balance.

Friends are an important tool in balancing life and work.

Balancing Life by Giving Back: Win-Win!

Larry and I were recently honorary chairs for the Cattle Baron's Ball in our hometown of Springfield, Missouri. For those of you not familiar with this event, it’s a cowboy-themed fundraiser for the American Cancer Society (ACS), started in Dallas. Larry and I have been involved in ACS for all our married life. The Cattle Baron's venue was new to us (yea, cowboy attire! – not the usual formal black tie). Regardless, we love it all.

Giving back is so important. In this economy, it’s tougher than ever – but it also means there are more people than ever before who are in need.

Larry and I grew up in families that taught us that giving back was absolutely necessary to balance life. Minimum 10 percent to be exact, off the top of gross salary. If I had a $5 allowance, I donated $.50. When I made $670 a month as a first year teacher in 1977, that 10 percent felt significant. However, due to my mental set and the giving philosophy my parents instilled, I lived to my remaining means monthly. Participating was important, too. Actions spoke volumes and our parents certainly led by example. Life was balanced.

There is a circle in life beyond “The Lion King.” It is the circle of the more you give, the more you receive. If you don't believe it, I challenge you to find the courage and discipline to try it.

You might ask, where do I give? Find a charity that has touched your life. Identify your passion and the giving will follow. There are also many tools and tips available online to help you select a charity.

Winning is giving back. Winning is looking in the mirror and knowing you are doing the right thing.

Charity giving – it’s a win-win in balancing life!